All right boys and girls, I'm Commander Up. In the rehabilitation center, I learned a lot about solving problems. So, here I am, ready to pass on my newfound knowledge to you!
Oh, and about those rumors... I do NOT pee pee sitting down. I pee pee like a big boy, deadgoddamnit!
[And a special thanks to AskMegaGirl, who started the AskStarshipRangers blogs, and to those at StarKidPotter, who are the Dr. Space-Claws of the whole operation.]
taz, we talked about this
Boys sure are confusing creatures, ain’t they? Hm, well if you still like this guy, and he now (maybe?) likes you back, then I would say go for it! It’s summertime, and what’s wrong with a little summer fun? Try to find out if he’s actually interested through your oldest friends, or just try askin’ him out yourself. He’ll sure be impressed with you takin’ the initiative! It’s all about confidence, you see. Take a few moments to prepare yourself in your good ‘ole confidence mirror, and then you’ll be able to sweep him off his feet!
Ah, those damn space-bucks! I ain’t no expert about college finance, but I did a bit of research online and found a few sites that could help you out, Soldier. I’m sorry I ain’t able to do much, but I don’t want to mislead you, darlin’!
If any of my lovely followers has advice for this anon, send me a message and I’ll be sure to pass it on!
My years at space-college were some of the best of my life! It’s completely normal to have butterflies in your tummy ‘round acceptance time, but keep in mind that there is a space-college out there for every little ranger that is eager to learn. Sometimes, it ain’t necessarily your first choice, but wherever you end up, I can almost ensure you that you’ll find something to love about it!
And you have mixed feelings about distance, huh? I would advise you to go off and see the galaxy! Of course you’ll feel nervous, maybe even a little scared, but you can always go back home to your planet for holidays. Goin’ to space-college is the perfect opportunity to try livin’ someplace new.
Good luck with your decision, my dear!
Oh? I’ve always been directed towards this nice little underground shop called “The Land of Dicks,” but I’ll check out eBay, too. Thanks, Ranger!
Y-you… You really thing so? My dear… That’s one of the dead goddamn nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Maybe if you explain this to my Lieutenant Taz, she won’t punch me in the mug and make me cry anymore! And I could keep my mustache after all!
I will stay tough, Soldier. I am tough, and I’ve always been tough!
Ompff! And I think I found my new mantra.
My favorite thing about bein’ a Starship Ranger? Hm, that’s tough! Well, for starters, I guess I could say that my favorite thing is being able to live and work with my oldest and most best of friends! What could be better than one huge, extended sleepover—in space?! Ain’t nothin’, I can tell you that! We get to sing and dance together, have tequila taztimes together, and kick candy ass together on dead goddamn awesome missions. Life is good when you’re a Starship Ranger, my dear!
Matt, my boy! It’s good to hear from you again, Ranger! As I’m allowed to recommend a few people for the job, of course you’d be in the running. I’ve already been working on a few applications, but don’t get ahead of yourself! I may be soft and cracked like an old leather saddle,
and ridden just as hard, but I’ve still got a spring in my step (and a limp). And let me tell you, my dear—yours is sparkling! It is filled with stories of our fabulous work together, before and after the robot wars, from your time with a smokin’ hot zapper to the long days of recovery at the rehabilitation center with your dear old commander. I may not have the final say, but I can assure you that Dr. Space Claw will seriously consider you for the job, boy! He always likes a ranger that can get the dead goddamned job done.
Happy Tequila Taz Tuesday!
Well, I told her I loved her first thing this morning—as I do every morning for each of my sleepy-eyed rangers! Back at the rehabilitation center, the hospital staff greeted us every morning with hugs and kisses. It did wonders for me and my big damn heart, so I couldn’t help but bring the tradition onto my ship.